


What The Water Gave Me

by cat-danvers (livinginthemoonlight)



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Slow Build, Slow Burn, supercat
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2016-09-09
Packaged: 2018-07-19 14:36:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7365427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livinginthemoonlight/pseuds/cat-danvers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It has been 98 days since Supergirl went missing. Cat lost her job, and is currently hiding away at her beach house. After a stormy night Supergirl washes up on the shore. Broken, hurt, and having lost her powers, Cat takes it upon herself to heal her, but she's not sure she will be able to. Supercat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. When did it all got to hell?

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I'm back with another Supercat fic! This one's rather dark but it's Supercat endgame. I hope you enjoy it.

“Mom, look! A dead crab!”

Carter ran towards her, and tugged her along by the hand. She let him drag her to where the dead animal was laying, and let him poke it with a stick while he chatted aimlessly.

They were taking a walk by the beach; the sun was going down and everything was bathed in an orange light. The summer wind blew softly on their faces, and the smell of salt permeated everything around them. Cat could hear the seagulls soft calls in the distance, and the sound of crashing waves seemed almost like a lullaby.

There couldn’t have been a more relaxing place than this. It _should_   have been the most relaxing place. It was her vacation after all, and she had bought a house in this place for a reason. It was far enough from the city to be considered peaceful, but close enough that she could run straight back to it in case of an emergency. It was barely an hour and a half away, and yet it felt like a completely different universe. It was perfect.

 _Then why am I unable to relax?_ She asked herself even though she knew the answer.

To say that the last 3 months had been crazy was an understatement. The proper term to describe the last 90 days would be _chaotic_. Cat chuckled to herself. _Chaos._ What a nice way to put it. But what else could she call the crime in National City rising an astounding 200%? What could be the proper term to describe the fact that _everyone_ had seemed to have lost their minds? There had been riots all over the city. Cars were continually burnt, windows were broken nonstop, and shops were being robbed at all times.

You couldn’t walk around the city anymore in plain daylight for fear of being attacked. Half of the police force had resigned, and the half that remained was too busy trying to convince everyone that nothing bad was happening to actually _do_ something useful. The mayor kept herself locked away in her home most of the time, and people were scared. People were _panicked_ , and Cat knew better than anyone that fear makes people do irrational things.

They started as peaceful protests outside the City Hall. People wanted to know what was going on, people wanted the truth. Was she really gone? What had happened to her? Was she hurt? Was she… _dead_? But answers never came, and people began to speculate. What would happen now that she was gone? What would happen if a less than friendly alien showed up in National City without its beloved hero to protect it?

That’s when the anti-alien protests became a thing again. Except this time, more people began to join them, more people began to fear extraterrestrials. They camped outside the City Hall for weeks, heads held high, waving their banners, more people joining them every day. A peaceful protest. Until someone decided it wasn’t enough. They started by yelling at the mayor every time she went in and out of the building. Then they began throwing things at her; water bottles, pebbles, someone’s shoe. They began following her to her car, fists banging the windows as they continued to yell obscenities at her. Until one day, it wasn’t enough either. It had been exactly 42 days since Supergirl’s disappearance when they burned the first car. It had all gone downhill from there. It had soon escalated into a battle between the anti-alien protesters, and the National City police force. A little boy died that day in the riot, and many more were injured.

Cat tried to use her media empire to cool things down; to make people understand. But people were afraid, and people don’t think clearly when fear is clouding their judgement. So instead of fixing things, CatCo became the next target. The next day, every single glass pane in the first three floors had been smashed to pieces, and her security guards had all been sent to the hospital. She had been forced to close for a week. She began receiving more than the usual hate mail, as well as death threats. She couldn’t walk down the street without people shouting at her, calling her names. Queen of aliens, they called her now. After an attempt on her life, the board of CatCo had strongly “suggested” she resigned her post as CEO. _It’s for your own safety, Cat_. She knew perfectly well they weren’t concerned for her safety at all. If she didn’t know better she might think the attack on her life had been orchestrated by them. Regardless, they had finally found a way to get rid of her.

As soon as she had publicly renounced her post, she had packed her bags and driven Carter and herself down to this place. She needed to get away from everything, from all the madness. They had been there a week already, but it had done nothing to lift Cat’s spirits. She drank even more now, she couldn’t sleep otherwise. She tried to pace herself for Carter’s sake but it was proving to be very difficult. Every night, when the boy had gone to sleep, she would sit in the living room and watch the news. They were always bad news; riots, murders, robberies. And there she would sit, drink in hand, for long hours.

It had been exactly 97 days since Supergirl went missing in the middle of a crisis, and the world had gone to hell.

* * *

 

“Carter, we should get back.” She murmured, feeling sad all of a sudden. This happened a lot lately whenever she thought of _her_. She’d never really realized how she had begun depending on her assistant until she mysteriously “moved away”. Of course she’d disappeared along with Supergirl. She couldn’t believe she had been too stubborn to see it. She’d been so unwilling to believe it, even with all the evidence. Kara was just too plain, too _normal_. She stuttered a lot, and blushed every time she touched her. She didn’t act anything like her alter ego. That’s why she didn’t understand why she missed her so much. She missed _Kara_.

“Okay, mom.” Carter said, immediately sensing her mood. He was such a perceptive boy. They walked back in silence, Cat immersed in her own thoughts. The sun had finally gone down, and a thunderstorm could be seen across the ocean. There was a big storm set to hit later in the night. A hurricane actually. Hurricane _Kara._ Seemed fitting. It made sense. Now that everyone had lost their minds it seemed logical the weather should become erratic too.

They reached the beach house just as the first drops began to fall. The wind had already increased its intensity, and was howling mercilessly. Hurricane Kara was headed straight for National City, and they were close enough to feel some of its effects. Strangely enough, neither Carter nor she felt the slightest bit nervous. Everything was already in such disarray that it didn’t surprise them. Cat felt numb. The alcohol seemed to help. She’d felt numb ever since she came to the realization that Supergirl wasn’t coming back. She’d realized it at day 28, while she paced in her balcony, and watched the city burn.

They ate dinner in silence; she barely touched hers. When Carter went upstairs to sleep, she sat at her usual spot in the living room couch, drink in hand, and turned on the news. They all concerned hurricane Kara as it approached the coasts of National City. The estimated time of arrival was 4 hours. It was a category 4 hurricane, with winds of 140 mph. Cat kept watching the news with avid interest, trying to numb herself with alcohol. If National City was about to be catastrophically destroyed she wanted to see it. It was the place where she had built her life after all, and now that her life was over it was only fitting the city should perish as well. Or so she told herself as she watched the hurricane get closer to her beloved city. As her eyes filled with tears, and she felt an inexplicably pang of melancholy because _everything_ was screwed, and there was nothing she could do about it. She downed the rest of her drink, and refilled it as she watched. Three hours were spent in agony as she watched the reporters’ scared faces. It was almost time. She wrapped a blanket around and hugged herself, without tearing her gaze away from the screen. She didn’t want to watch; she wanted to turn the damn thing off, and just go to sleep. She wanted to forget any of this was happening, she wanted to go back in time. But she was Cat Grant, and she would stand watch over her city until she exhaled her last breath, or in this case, until there was nothing but ruins left.

She steeled herself for the inevitable, drinking even more. She might as well be drunk during all of this. The estimated time of arrival was 20 minutes, and she still felt it was too soon. And then, when all hope had been lost, it vanished. Cat blinked several times in confusion, as she heard the reporter announce it. The satellites had just confirmed it: The hurricane had dissolved, and turned into a harmless tropical storm. She was too drunk to understand at first. Her mind had become sluggish, and so she thought she had fallen asleep and was dreaming. After 15 minutes of onscreen celebrations it finally clicked. It finally made sense, and she started laughing. She laughed, and laughed until she was crying; until she had to desperately gasp for air because this was a miracle, and if she didn’t know better she’d think someone had saved them all. But those days were over, and she still couldn’t wrap her head around but it had happened.

She didn’t notice when her laughter turned into wrecking sobs. She was a mess of emotions. She was relieved, sad, frustrated, confused, and very drunk at the same time. She felt unhinged in a way she had never felt before. When had everything gone down the drain?

* * *

 The next morning was ironically sunny. It was a beautiful morning, and you could almost forget a life-threatening hurricane had been about to wreck a city if not for one small detail; there was trash lying everywhere on the beach. The strong gusts of wind of the previous night had brought all kinds of weird artifacts ashore.

“Mom, can I please go walk down the beach?” Carter has asked enthusiastically. She had only nodded numbly, nursing the worst hangover since she went to college. Last night seemed like a dream. All those swirling emotions, dying to make their presence known; the certainty of an impending catastrophe wiped away in a single moment; it was almost too much to handle. She still didn’t understand what had happened the previous night. Just a day ago everything had been hell. Now, everyone in National City seemed to have made peace with each other. The protestors called for a week-long cease of riots, which the NCPD happily accepted. Manifestations of a different kind had sprung forth; a massive “Free Hugs” campaign had been organized and was to be put in motion that afternoon. Cat gagged at the thought. She certainly didn’t appreciate chaos but this was too much. She gets it, though. They had just been saved from an impending doom so everyone felt suddenly grateful. Hell, she had even had the impulse to call her mother first thing in the morning. Thankfully she had abstained herself. It was almost noon, and Carter still wasn’t back so she decided to step outside and see if she could spot him. As soon as she put her foot out the door she saw him all right.

He was wildly flailing his arms, and seemed to be shouting at her. Cat rolled her eyes, there was probably another dead crab lying on the ground. She was too hungover for this. She gave Carter a small waive but she remained where she was. The boy didn’t give up in his pursuit to get his mother to come closer and continued moving his arms erratically pointing at something right beside him, and jumping up and down. Cat sighed tiredly, if it was another crab she was going to see him. She began walking slowly towards him, taking her time. He continued beckoning her closer, shouting at the top of his lungs but she was still too far to understand what he was saying.

As she got closer she noticed there was rather a large lump beside him. It looked like a creature of some kind. She could distinguish some of the words that were being yelled at her. “-right here! – couldn’t believe it at first – it’s _her_ – girl!” For some odd reason her heart started thudding heavily on her chest.

From where she was now she could see the lump was blue, and… red? She picked up the pace, thoughts running wild. She dug her nails into her palm because surely she must be dreaming. It couldn’t be possible. She began running at full speed towards Carter. She felt bewildered, confused, and, dare she say, hopeful. She saw a flash of yellow as she got closer, and almost yelled in something akin to desperation. She screeched to a halt next to Carter who was almost in tears. Her chest was beating manically in her chest, and she was sure her eyes were going to burst out of their sockets.

There, lying unconscious on the ground, with her uniform torn and ripped, was Supergirl.


	2. Recollections

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your lovely comments! You guys are awesome :)

“Do you think she’ll be okay?”

“I’m sure she’ll be fine, Carter.”

He narrowed her eyes at her. He had always been good at telling when she was lying. It was a trait he had inherited from her. The truth was she had no idea if Kara was going to be okay.

“She’s been unconscious for the last 12 hours, Carter. Of course I don’t know if she’s going to be okay!” she snapped at him. She didn’t mean to, it was the last thing she wanted. But she’d been on edge all day, unable to leave Kara’s side. She’d barely eaten since they had found her. Her initial shock and confusion had quickly turned into laser focus. As soon as she could breathe again she had a sole purpose in life: Keep Kara safe.

She had told Carter to help lift her up, but it soon became apparent that they wouldn’t be able to manage without help. After she had desperately racked her brain for a way they could move Kara without having to drag her through the sand, she came to the conclusion that they would need help. It took a lot of threats, and a really big check to convince her gardener Bob to keep quiet and help carry the younger woman to the beach house. She ordered that Kara be placed on the bed in her own room since it was the sunniest place in the house. She and Carter had immediately opened every curtain in the room so that every available ray of sunlight would land on her former assistant.

They had both stood at the end of the bed watching the unconscious woman, unable to speak. Not soon after Cat had heard a sniffle. Turning to Carter she had wrapped her arms around him, as the boy cried into her chest.

He had been fond of Supergirl ever since she had personally rescued him from Max Lord’s train. He looked up to her, and Cat understood perfectly that he would be shocked and hurt at seeing her in that state after being missing for 3 months. It pained Cat too, but it was still too soon to give up hope, and she told her son that. He kept insisting they should call an ambulance or a doctor, and she gently reminded him that it would do her no good. That her physiology was different than that of humans.

Kara had still been dripping wet, and that had worried Cat. She had gently dismissed Carter, telling him to take a warm bath and try to calm down a little. Surely he didn’t want Supergirl to see him in such anguish when she woke up. He had agreed rather halfheartedly, and had left the two women alone.

Finally alone with Kara, Cat had let her expressionless mask fall into the worried one she had desperately wanted to show before. She felt alarmed, and incredibly worried. This was the last thing she would have ever expected. There were a lot of questions running through her mind: Why had Kara disappeared? Where had she been all this time? How did she end up lying on the sand right across her beach house? Would she ever wake up?

She had taken three firm steps towards the younger woman before stopping and standing uncertainly. She had thought maybe she was dreaming. Perhaps she was in an alcohol induced hallucination. She _had_ drunk quite a lot the previous night. Shaking her head at the absurdity of it, she had closed the remaining space between her and the superhero.

She had slowly let her eyes roam over Kara’s body. Starting at her bruised face - she could see a rapidly black eye forming – she moved her gaze downwards. Her lips were busted, and there was dried blood stuck to her hair from an apparent head wound. Moving her eyes down to her neck and over her chest, she noticed every single scratch on her uniform. There was a large one on her left arm, where she could see fresh blood still seeping from the wound; there was another one right below her ribs, and through it Cat could see that her abdomen was in bad shape too. Purple bruises visible through the hole in the blue uniform. The red skirt was almost ripped to pieces, and so were the black stockings she wore. She had finished her assessment by looking at the younger girl’s bare feet. They had found her barefoot; her boots long lost in whatever peril she had battled.

Cat had taken a shuddering breath. She had bit her bottom lip worriedly. She wanted to touch Kara so badly. She wanted to make sure this was real, that this wasn’t some sick mind trick. She had stretched her arm, and had immediately noticed she was shaking. She had tried steading her hand by holding her breath, and had gently lowered it to Kara’s face. Ever so gently, she grazed her cheek with her knuckles. She had taken a deep breath, eyes falling closed as she felt her soft skin. It was tangible, it was… real.

She had been hit with a sudden wave of relief. It was so unexpected her eyes had filled to the brim with tears. “Oh, Kara.” She had sighed as she laid her hand flat on the younger woman’s cheek stroking it with her thumb gently, and letting her tears fall freely.

“My sweet, Kara.” She continued to chant as she continued stroking her. She moved to pull some hair away from her face, and smiled fondly. It had taken her a minute to realize Kara’s skin was unusually warm. Concern had immediately washed away any sense of relief, and her protective instincts had quickly kicked in. Kryptonians weren’t supposed to be able to develop a fever.

Running into her bathroom, she quickly grabbed a towel and a pair of scissors. First of all, she had to get Kara out of that freezing uniform. Cutting through it had been the easiest way to do it, since she still hadn’t known for sure the extent of her injuries.

Working quickly, she had freed her of the soaking wet uniform, leaving her in undergarments, and had proceeded to gently towel her dry. She had forced herself to keep her eyes open as more bruises, and blood became visible. Her lower lip seemed to be permanently trapped between her teeth as she dried the younger woman as gently as she possibly could. This was all very confusing. Cat had thought that Kryptonians didn’t bruise or bleed. Kara was bulletproof after all. She shuddered as she thought of the unknown danger that had done this to her.

She couldn’t help noticing that her former assistant seemed thinner, paler. There were dark circles surrounding her eyes, and her once incredibly muscular arms seemed weak and thin. Wherever Kara had been had affected her somehow, and Cat felt a pang in her chest. There was still so much she didn’t know.

When she had finished towel drying Kara, she had moved on to her injuries. She applied bandages where needed, and had cleaned every wound with delicacy and devotion. She had been tempted to kiss every one of the bruises that covered her body but opted to kiss the back of the superhero’s right hand every time she felt overwhelmed instead.

When she finished the daunting task, she covered Kara up in blankets. Then, and only then, did she let herself be consumed by the turmoil of emotions she had held back. She had let fear, confusion, and worry wash over her like a blanket. She had sat at the couch beside the bed, and had yet to leave the spot.

Carter occasionally brought her water, sat with her for short intervals, and even looked after Kara when she reluctantly got up to use the bathroom because it was impossible for her to wait one more second. He hadn’t said a word all day. He understood that she was worried, confused, and a mess of emotions. He looked after her, bringing her a plate of food at lunch time, and now at dinner time; both sitting untouched at the coffee table. He _cared_.

And now she had snapped at him, and regret hit her like a truck going at full speed. “I’m really sorry, Carter. I didn’t mean to snap at you.” She rubbed her eyes tiredly. She’d been on edge all day, watching Kara.

“I know, mom. I get that you’re worried. I am too.”

“My sweet, brave boy.” She murmured running a hand through his hair. “What would I ever do without you?”

He smiled fondly at her, and squeezed her hand. “Goodnight, mom.”

“Goodnight, Carter.”

“Will you let me know if she wakes up?” He asked seriously. Cat tried to ignore the ‘if’.

“Of course.”

He gave her a kiss on the cheek, and left. Cat sighed and stood up, stretching her arms. She’d been sitting all day, and it was taking its toll on her. She looked at Kara one more time, but she looked exactly the same as she had looked 4 hours ago. She thought her bruises seemed a little lighter, and hoped that prolonged exposure to sunlight would help her recover faster.

The sun had already gone down, and the room was engulfed in darkness except for the bedside lamp that cast a weak glow across the ample room. Her initial shock had long worn out, and new ideas were forming in her head. She thought about Kara; sweet, trusting, bubbly Kara, and about the relationship they had started to develop before she had gone missing. It had been different than it had ever been. Cat couldn’t exactly figure out what they were but their dynamic had certainly changed. The funny thing was, she could pinpoint the exact moment it had changed for her. It had been the night after Supergirl had lost her mind, and attacked the city:

_“Can I just stay here for a little while?”_

_“Of course.”_

_Cat took a sip of her drink, leaning on her balcony, as Supergirl slouched on one of the white couches. They stayed in silence for a while. The superhero seemed lost in her thoughts, and Cat felt content with the silence. She had been surprised when she had showed up. She knew that the kryptonian must have been under some sort of mind-altering drug, but she didn’t expect an apology so soon._

_Now here she was, and to Cat she seemed incredibly depressed. She wondered who else had the younger woman hurt besides her, and she could clearly tell they had turned her away or she wouldn’t be here._

_“Thank you.”_

_Cat was startled to hear her speak. She had gotten used to the comfortable silence._

_“Not that I don’t appreciate gratitude but, what exactly are you thanking me for?”_

_Supergirl turned her head from where she was watching the city to look at Cat. Her expression seemed soft, vulnerable._

_“Thank you for not sending me away.”_

_There it was. It didn’t make her feel better to know she’d been right. Being a superhero must be a lonely existence._

_“Why would I send you away?” she asked, trying to keep her tone detached. Supergirl didn’t answer, opting instead to look at her hands._

_“What? Cat got your tongue?” she offered lamely._

_That certainly brought a smile to hero’s face, albeit a tired one. “I thought you hated that pun.” She said without thinking. Immediately a panicked expression crossed her face. “I mean, I guess you would. I-I wouldn’t know for sure. I’ve never heard you say it bothers you.”_

_Cat rolled her eyes, hiding a smile. This was definitely Kara shining through. “It’s only fine if_ I _say it. You were right to assume that I completely despise the use of cat puns. Or any in in general.”_

_Supergirl looked relieved for a moment, before her face fell again._

_“Now, would you care to tell me why you thought I would turn you away?”_

_The hero avoided her gaze again._

_“Not that I care but, assuming you actually have any friends, they wouldn’t happen to have shunned you for your erratic behavior, would they?” The younger woman’s face fell even more._

_Cat again didn’t feel the slightest bit proud that she was right again. She took a step towards the superhero, fighting the impulse to put a hand on her arm._

_“You just told me your brain was altered. This wasn’t your fault. Why would they be mad at you?”_

_The kryptonian sighed, running a tired hand through her face. “Because everything I said, everything I did…came from a real place.” She breathed out, and suddenly she seemed exhausted, older. “Every bad thought I’ve ever had came to the surface but tripled in intensity.”_

_The older woman took a moment to let the words sink in. What Supergirl was saying was that at some point she’d thought Cat was the most arrogant, self-serving, mean-spirited person she knew. She had to admit it stung a little._

_“So that’s what you really think of me.” She said without thinking._

_“No! Ms. Grant!” Supergirl quickly jumped to her feet, agitation clearly written in her features. “That’s not what I think of you at all!”_

_“But you just said-“_

_“I said it came from a real place, from a place of anger. That doesn’t mean my words were true. Haven’t you ever said something you didn’t mean in the heat of the moment? Just to_ hurt _the other person?” She waved her hands expressively trying to make Cat understand._

_“Not really.”_

_“You know what I mean.”_

_“I really don’t, Supergirl. You better explain before I remember that I still have a lot of work to do in my office.” She turned around to strut into the office when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Stopping, she turned around to find the hero’s face in utter distress._

_“Please don’t go!” Cat felt a little guilty. She wasn’t_ actually _going to leave her alone in the balcony. She just wanted to get a ruse out of the other woman; get the truth out of her. “I may have thought that way about you when I first met you. But that was before I actually got to know you!” she exclaimed quickly when she saw the older woman open her mouth to give cutting remark._

 _“Now, I realize what an amazing woman you are. You care about people, you care about the truth; you are honest, brave, independent, an amazing mother, and an incredible role model.” Her eyes sparkled as she talked, and Cat noticed her hand was still on her shoulder. “_ That’s _what I really think of you. You’ve been my mentor, my public face, my friend. At least… I hope you consider me a friend.”_

_“Of course.” Cat tried to hide her surprise. She hadn’t realized Supergirl felt so strongly about her. Or perhaps it was Kara that felt this way. Either way, it caught her off guard. “I want you to know that you are absolutely welcome here. You will never be shunned from my balcony.” She really meant her words, and it was the kryptonian’s turn to be at a loss for words._

_“Let’s sit, shall we?” Cat said nonchalantly as she sat in one of the couches. Supergirl didn’t follow her, and when she turned around she caught the hero looking intently at her._

_“I feel safe here.” She whispered in such a low volume, she almost didn’t hear her._

_“Why is that?” She was genuinely curious. “Is it the altitude? The privacy of the balcony? The fact that you can see the whole city?”_

_“It isn’t any of those things.” Supergirl smiled pointedly at her._ Oh.

 _“Well, I’m flattered. Although, I don’t understand how_ I _can make you feel safe when you’re bulletproof. And last night you proved you can get rid of me in an instant.”_

_The younger woman blushed at being reminded of what she had done. She quickly looked over the balcony worriedly, noting the high altitude._

_“Splat.” Cat offered, in a burst of dark humor. “Just like blowing out a candle.”_

_“Ms. Grant, I’m really sorry! I-“ Cat held up a hand to shut her up._

_“You’ve already apologized once, and it’s enough. All is forgiven.”_

_Supergirl seemed to relax when she heard the words. She took a seat next to Cat and looked at her gratefully._

_“Thank you.” She sighed. Cat just nodded. “I still don’t understand how you can forgive me so easily.”_

_“We all make mistakes. It’s a fact of life. We’re not perfect. I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my life -and, yes, I will deny I ever said that - but I learned that forgiveness is the hardest thing someone can ever grant. It’s easy to love or hate someone, but forgiving is always hard. Even if everyone has already forgiven you, it’s sometimes hard to forgive yourself. You need to do that. You need to forgive yourself for what you’ve done.”_

_“I don’t know if I can.” She said tiredly, looking at her hands._

_“You need to try. For your own sake. For your own sanity. Sometimes the hardest battles fought are the ones within ourselves. You need to let it go, and move forward. The rest of the city will soon forget about this, but will you?”_

_“I…“_

_“You don’t need to say anything. Just think about it.”_

_Supergirl nodded, and the comfortable silence returned. It was getting late, and Cat was getting tired. She tried to stifle a yawn but failed miserably, drawing the hero’s attentions._

_“It’s late. I should go.” She moved to stand, but the Queen of all Media put a hand on her leg, effectively stopping her._

_“It’s fine. I’m fine. Stay as long as you'd like.” Cat had a feeling the she was still feeling lost, and she didn’t want to leave her out of her sight._

_“Only if you’re sure.”_

_“I am.”_

_Supergirl stayed, but soon Cat began dozing off. She fought against her sleepiness with all her might, but when she felt an arm wrap around her, and her head collided with a soft, warm, shoulder, she surrendered to the darkness._

_She woke up the next morning on her bed, in her room. Still half-asleep her brain scrambled looking for an explanation since she didn’t remember her driver taking her home. When her eyes finally adjusted to the light, she found a note at her bedside table._

**You fell asleep on me. I flew you home, I hope you’re not too mad. I only almost dropped you once. Kidding! Thank you for last night. I really needed that. I meant what I said, about feeling safe with you. I hope you’ll allow me to visit you again.**

**Supergirl**

_Cat smiled to herself. The note was handwritten, and it was Kara’s exact handwriting._

She smiled fondly at the memory. Something had changed between them that night. Supergirl visited her often at her balcony when she wasn’t saving the city, and Kara even seemed to grow fonder of her. She’d be lying is she said that she hadn’t also begun to care more about her assistant.

They had settled into an easy relationship. Kara anticipated her needs even before herself, and Cat started being nicer to her. There were some heavily charged moments sometimes, like when Kara lingered in the office after everyone else had left looking like she wanted to say something only to leave without uttering a word; or like every time Cat would tell Kara to schedule a lunch date she would notice her assistant clench her jaw almost imperceptibly, and her mood would seem dimmer than it usually was for the rest of the day; or the fact that on the day of said date Kara would always show to work wearing something sinfully tight and short, and would make sure there was a certain sway of her hips every time she leaved Cat’s office.

The older woman certainly noticed all of this but had never tried to make a move. She could tell her assistant had a crush on her but never really thought it to be serious. _It shall pass_ , she kept thinking to herself. Kara wouldn’t be hung up on her for long, she was sure. And yet… months flew by and their connection only became stronger. Cat stopped going on dates altogether, and Kara would usually stay with her after her shift ended to help her; both settling in Cat’s office to work quietly.

And when Kara left, Supergirl appeared at her balcony. A constant presence during late hours, her guardian angel. She would sometimes fall asleep on her desk on purpose. She knew that the hero would make sure she got to her home safely, and - when she woke up the next day in her home - it sent a thrill down her spine to know she had been in her arms, flying through the city.

There had been one day, when Cat was almost sure Kara was going to kiss her. The night they had saved the city from Myriad.

“ _You’ve changed me, and I am not easy to change. And I think you can change everyone out there. Not with violence, not with fear. Just be Supergirl. That’s all anyone’s every needed from you.”_

_Supergirl looked at her with indescribable emotion in her eyes. “Thank you, Cat.”_

_Before she could react she was engulfed in the warmest, tightest hug anyone – besides Carter – had given her in a long time. She sunk into it, relaxing into the embrace. Supergirl smelled like Kara, and it comforted her more than she would ever admit. She was scared, and she wasn’t completely sure she would survive the night, so she hugged the hero tighter wishing she never had to let go._

_When they finally separated, the younger woman – without making any move to increase the space between them – looked at her with the biggest smile. “That gives me an idea.”_

_Cat smiled back at her. “One that that doesn’t involve killing 300 thousand civilians?”_

_“Exactly.”_

_Kara was still too close, both looking intently into each other’s eyes. Cat’s body still buzzed with warmth after being enveloped in those strong arms, as she looked into dose deep blue eyes._

_The hero seemed to suddenly notice the proximity, and gulped nervously; eyes flicking down to stare at Cat’s lips for the briefest of moments before they darted back up to her eyes._

_The older woman licked her lips, not entirely sure of what she had seen. At the gesture, Supergirl’s eyes definitely strayed downwards, and stayed there. The air suddenly became heavier, as Cat realized exactly what Kara wanted to do. Her heart began to speed up, as she took in a ragged, nervous breath._

_Blue eyes had flickered up to meet green eyes, looking for reassurance. Cat wasn’t exactly sure what the hero had seen in her eyes but it had certainly encouraged her. Smiling adoringly at her, the younger woman had gently cupped her cheek, stroking her thumb lightly over it._

_Cat waited patiently for the hero to make her move. But blue eyes suddenly clouded with conflict, and before she knew it, Supergirl had taken a step back._

_She tried not to feel disappointed. They were on the verge of the end of the world, after all. They could revisit the moment after they had saved it._

_“We need to find Max.”_

_“After you, Supergirl.”_

They had never talked about it. After saving the world, Cat had hoped the hero would finally do something about the tension that always seemed to surround them. Instead they had fallen back to their old routine; sneaking glances at each other every time they could; spending as much time as they could together; brushing their arms, or their fingers whenever they could but never actually acknowledging it.

Cat was content to wait. They had all the time in the world now that it was safe. As long as this was what Kara wanted, she could adapt. She could channel the buzzing desire coursing through her veins into her work, and she did.

Then Kara had gone missing, and Cat had felt the weight of her repressed feelings settle into her chest like a metal armor. Regret had filled every pore of her being, even before everything started going to hell.

She sat down at the couch again, her eyes falling closed. She was exhausted, and she soon fell deeply asleep, dreaming of soft blue eyes hidden behind glasses.

She woke up to Carter gently shaking her shoulder. Springing her eyes open, she quickly sat up trying to rub the sleep from her eyes.

“Relax, mom. She’s not awake yet.”

She tried not to look disappointed, but the fact that Carter squeezed her shoulder in response meant she didn’t do a great job at it.

“I thought you would want to get some breakfast. I can look after Supergirl.”

She really didn’t want breakfast, but she didn’t want to upset her son anymore. He seemed worried about her, and it pained her to cause him any form of distress. So she smiled at him, kissing the top of his head.

“Thanks, Carter. I’ll be back soon, I promise.”

 _It’s not like she’ll wake any time soon_ , she told herself as she got into her bathroom, and took a quick shower. When she got out, she saw Carter lying on the couch with a book, and smiled softly.

Feeling somewhat reassured she walked into the kitchen, and made herself some coffee. She ate a plate of fruit mostly for Carter’s sake, looking out the window at the sea. She was itching to pour herself a drink, but refrained – yet again for Carter.

She didn’t know what she would do without him. He was the only thing that kept her grounded, that prevented her from drinking herself into oblivion. Now that she had been sacked from her own company she had an awful lot of free time. Not having anything to do unnerved her. She felt useless; something she had never felt in her life.

“Mom!”

She heard Carter’s voice call her in the distance.

“Mom! Come quickly!”

Her heart started to pound. She quickly got up and ran to her room.

“What is it, Carter?” she asked even though she could see it clearly: Kara had opened her eyes, and was blinking dazedly.

“Supergirl woke up.” He breathed reverently.

Cat took unsteady steps towards the edge of the bed. She didn’t want to startle the younger woman.

Blue eyes looked around the room, clouded in confusion.

“What-“ She heard Kara mumble, and hearing her voice was music to Cat’s ears. She hadn’t realized how much she’d missed it.

“Supergirl.” She cursed herself for the way her voice shook. She wanted to appear calm, and steady. The total opposite of what she was truly feeling if she was honest.

Kara’s eyes found her, and she seemed to grow even more confused.

“C-Cat?”

“Carter, could you give us a minute?” she murmured softly, eyes never straying from Kara’s face.

“Yeah.” He shuffled out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Only then did Cat close the remaining space between her, and the bed. She sat at the edge, and took Kara’s right hand in both of her own. Kara made no effort to squeeze back.

“How are you feeling?” she asked, concern evident in her voice. Kara just blinked up at her, seeming out of it. “You were in some sort of accident.”

“I-I don’t understand.”

“Carter found you lying on the sand. We brought you here. You were in pretty bad shape, Kara. You scared the hell out of me.” It felt so good to get the words out. To see those blue eyes after months of absence. Cat smiled softly at her, resisting the urge to run a hand through Kara’s hair.

The superhero had fallen deathly silent. She still looked pale, eyes vacant, and unfocused. Cat supposed she was trying to remember what had happened. She felt uneasy; Kara seemed different somehow. Her eyes were dimmer than she remembered, her cheeks were hollower. She didn’t look relieved, or happy to see her. She just seemed… empty.

She squeezed the hand trapped between her own, trying to bring her back. Kara looked at her again, and Cat saw a panicked expression begin to grow.

“This- This isn’t right.” Kara suddenly gasped, sitting up, and wrenching her hand away from Cat’s.

“Take it easy, Kara. You’ve been unconscious for almost two days.”

Kara seemed on the verge of an anxiety attack, as her breathing became erratic, and she looked around with wide eyes. “This can’t be happening!”

“Hey, Kara. It’s okay.” Cat tried to reassure her in a soft tone. “You’re safe now.”

“No! No, no, no, no!” Kara stood up from the bed. Cat got up as well, ready to steady the younger woman should she get light headed, but Kara seemed fine. “This is wrong! This is can’t be true!”

Cat felt incredibly confused. She had no idea what Kara was going on about. She could only stare as Kara began pacing from one side of the room to the other, wringing her hands nervously.

“Kara, please sit down. You’re still hurt, and you’re clearly still confused. Please, let me explain.”

Kara stopped pacing, and looked at her as if she had completely forgotten she was there.

“You!” The younger woman lifted a finger to point at her. “You saved me!”

Cat smiled softly at her. “Yes, I did. You’re safe now, Kara.”

“Why did you do it?” Cat’s face turned into one of complete surprise. Kara seemed angry at the thought, as she took two steps towards her. “Why, Cat? Why did you meddle? Why couldn’t you leave it be?!” She took another angry step towards her, and it took all of Cat’s self-control not to take a step back.

“I don’t understand, Kara. What was I supposed to do? Just leave you there?”

“I didn’t ask you to save me!” Kara roared, and this time Cat did take a step back. “You don’t get it! You don’t know anything!” Kara clenched her fists at her sides.

“Kara, I just did what I thought was right. I don’t get what the big deal is. I only-“

“Shut up!” Kara screamed at her, and Cat fell immediately silent. She looked at Kara with wide, scared eyes. This wasn’t like Kara at all. Even when she’d been under the spell of red kryptonite she had never showed this kind of raw, explosive anger. It made Cat nervous, it scared her. “I’m supposed to be dead! I was supposed to die in that storm! You stupid fool!”

She began pacing around the room again with long angry strides. Cat was at a loss at what to do. She would have never expected Kara to be angry at her for saving her life. If anything she’d thought she’d be grateful, surprised at least. Kara was right, she didn’t know anything. She certainly didn’t know this woman clad in underwear only, covered in bruises that was pacing angrily all over her room.

“What am I going to do now? What will I do?” Kara seemed to have forgotten she was in the room again. She looked like a mad woman, muttering to herself as she clutched her hair, pacing around the room. “I can’t fly, I burned out my powers. Oh, what will I do now?”

Cat was afraid to talk to her again; afraid of the ire previously directed at her. She knew she had to get her to calm down. She felt slightly safer knowing Kara had no superpowers.

“Kara, please. You need to calm down.” She tried with a pleading tone. Kara didn’t seem to hear her.

“Kara.” She tried again with a firmer tone. The other woman simply kept muttering to herself. In a rush of boldness Cat moved to stand right in Kara’s path, making sure her presence was acknowledged.

Kara seemed surprised at the gesture, but the emotion was soon replaced with the vacancy that has seemed to fill her eyes since she had opened them.

“Get out of my way.” Kara muttered in the iciest tone Cat had ever heard come out of her former assistant’s mouth.

“Not until you talk to me.” Cat said sternly, voice firm.

“Move, Cat!”

“No.”

Kara groaned in frustration, tugging at her hair. “Why do you have to make everything so difficult? Isn’t bad enough you saved my stupid life?!”

“Why are you so angry at me for saving you?” she asked, searching deep into those vacant blue eyes.

Kara just glared at her in response.

“Tell me, and I’ll leave you alone.”

Something shifted in Kara’s blue eyes. There was a spark of something deep within them, something that hinted at the old Kara, but it was soon gone, replaced with that mindless anger.

“Fine. You really want to know, Cat?”

“Yes.”

“I’m angry at you for saving me because I wanted to die.”

Cat took a surprised step back.

“Surprised?” Kara sneered down at her. “I want to _die_. I went into that storm with the intention of never coming back.”

Surprise filled every pore of her being. That was the last answer she had expected to hear.

“Why?” she asked in a small voice.

“I think I’ve answered your question, so leave me alone.”

Kara turned around and stalked to the other end of the room. She stood facing the wall, arms crossed. Cat could see every single muscle in her back clenched, completely rigid.

Kara seemed like a completely different person than the one she knew. It killed her not to know the reason, to not be able to do anything about it. She took hesitant steps towards her, stopping a few steps away from her. From this distance she could notice Kara was shaking.

Cat ached to pull her into a hug, to tell her whatever had happened would be all right. But how could she do that when she had no idea what was going on?

“Kara.”

Kara made no move to acknowledge her.

“Please tell me what’s wrong.”

The younger woman took an awfully long time to answer. Cat was a minute away from giving up, and just leaving the room when she heard the broken whisper.

“Everything’s wrong.”

“That’s not true and you know it.” Cat said reassuringly, stretching her arm towards Kara but dropping it before actually touching her.

Kara whirled around angrily. “How can you say that?! She’s dead! And she’s never coming back!”

“Who-“

“It was my fault! It was all my fault. I should’ve known better, I should’ve saved her! I was too slow, too weak. ” Kara’s face adopted a look of immense suffering. She looked haunted, the hollowness in her eyes accentuated by the dark circles under her eyes. “Now, she’s gone.”

Cat could slowly see the angry façade start to crumble.

“I wanted to join her.” She said in a whisper. “But I was too much of a coward to do anything to myself. And then… that stupid hurricane was heading to National City. I knew it would be impossible to stop it, but I wanted to try. I _wanted_ to die trying.”

Her blue eyes filled with tears, and she rubbed them furiously. “I couldn’t even do _that_.”

“Kara, I’m so sorry.”

“Just leave, please. I’d like to be alone.”

She didn't seem angry anymore. Just incredibly miserable. Cat didn’t want to leave - she didn’t want to let Kara out of her sight ever again – but she knew that the younger woman needed time to herself. The only thing that kept her from agreeing was the fear of Kara hurting herself.

“Don’t worry. I told you I’m too much of a coward to do anything to myself.” Kara said, as if she could read her thoughts.

Cat nodded, tiredly. “Just let me get you something to wear.” She said, moving to her closet, and taking some sweats, and a t-shirt from a drawer. Kara was still standing, looking like she was barely holding back tears.

Cat left the clothes on the couch, and stopped at the door, hand stretched to grasp the doorknob. She shouldn’t ask, but she needed to know how bad it was.

“Kara, w-who died?”

Kara didn’t even spare her a glance when she answered. “Alex.”             

Cat almost didn’t hear it. But she could definitely detect the pain in the whispered word. She nodded to herself as she exited the room, holding back tears of her own.

 Kara was broken, and she had no idea how to piece her back together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that this was mostly a filler chapter, but I wanted to paint a picture of what Cat's relationship had been like with Kara before she went missing. Thanks for reading!


	3. A Moment of Calm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your lovely comments, and your patience! 
> 
> I would especially like to thank thatmetalbenderlingbeifong for correcting my many, many mistakes :D

_Laid up in bed, you were laid up in bed_

_Holding the pain like you're holding your breath_

_I prayed you could sleep, sleep like a stone_

_You're right next to me_

_But you're a long way from home_

“Is she all right, mom?” Carter was waiting for her in the living room. “I heard shouting.”

Cat sighed feeling very tired, and old all of a sudden. She sat beside Carter on her favorite couch.

“I don’t know, Carter. She’s not… she’s not the same Supergirl you remember. She’s been hurt. She’s in pain.”

Carter nodded in understanding, and didn’t say anything else.

“There’s something you should know.” Cat said suddenly. He looked at her with curiosity. “Kara Danvers is Supergirl.”

Carter’s eyes widened in surprise. “Kara, as in your assistant?”

“Yes. Kara, and Supergirl are the same person. I thought you should know.”

He would’ve figured it out eventually. Cat wasn’t sure she would be able to avoid saying her name in front of him anyway.

“It makes sense, now that I think about it.” He said pensively. “Can I go see her?”

“I don’t think that’s a very good idea.” Carter’s face fell, and Cat felt a pang of sadness. How was she supposed to tell him that the Kara he remembered was gone? “We should give her the rest of day to rest.”

Cat looked at the clock on the wall which told her it was 10:23. She thought of Kara who had been unconscious for almost two days; who was still weak, and injured. She craved to go see her again.

“I’ll go make her some breakfast.”

She left Carter setting up his PlayStation, and walked to the kitchen. She proceeded to take out the ingredients she would need to prepare an omelet. She felt restless; she couldn’t keep still. She tried to focus all her nervous energy into cooking. It always helped her to focus on one sole task when she was feeling anxious. She assured it was made to perfection, not giving herself time to think about anything else.

When she was done she put the plate on a tray, along with a glass of orange juice. Taking the tray she walked back to her room stopping just outside the closed door. She took a deep breath, noticing the tray was shaking in her unsteady hands.

She put it on the floor, and knocked the door tentatively. There was no answer. She knocked again, a little firmer this time. When there wasn’t an answer either, she breathed deeply trying not let her anxious thoughts run wild. Opening the door, she took the tray from the floor, and let herself in.

“Kara?” she called into the room. She immediately noticed how dark it was. All the blinds, and shutters had been drawn closed.

She closed the door behind her, not wanting Carter to be tempted to take a peek inside. There was barely enough light to see; little rays of light spilling into the room from the cracks between the curtains.

She could see Kara’s outline from where she stood. Her back was to her, lying on the bed. She noticed she had put on the clothes she’d left for her.

“Kara?” She tried again, walking to the edge of the bed.

The other woman turned around, regarding her with a blank expression. Cat could see her swollen, red-rimmed eyes and knew she had been crying.

“I thought you might want some breakfast.” The ex-CEO offered the tray.

Kara barely even glanced at the food. “I’m not hungry.” She said, turning on her back, and staring at the dark ceiling.

Cat took another step forward, and set the tray on the bed.

“Okay. I’ll just leave it here, in case you get hungry.”

Kara didn’t reply, and Cat felt even more anxious.

“Kara… I-“ she stopped herself. She wanted to say she was sorry for what had happened. She wanted to throw her arms around the younger woman, hold her close, and never let go. But she felt she was walking on egg shells. She didn’t know where she stood or how to proceed.

Luckily for her Kara was too immersed in her own thoughts to notice her. She walked to one of the windows in the room, hand brushing the curtain, itching to pull it open.

“Don’t.” she heard the whisper, and turned around quickly. Kara was still facing the ceiling.

“You need sunlight to heal.” She said, eyeing the bandages covering Kara’s arms and legs with concern; watched the soft fabric of the shirt she had lent her, knowing that underneath it there was a torso full of painful, dark bruises. “It’ll make you feel better.”

“I don’t want to feel better.” Kara said, voice low, and tired.

Cat felt helpless. She knew it would be useless to push Kara. She couldn’t make her want to heal. Kara had to reach that point on her own. It didn’t mean it wasn’t driving her crazy with concern. She was still scared for her former assistant; scared she might let this grief consume her.

She walked back to the bed. She wanted to reach out, and touch Kara’s arm but knew the contact would be unwelcome.

“Do you need anything?” she asked uncertainly.

Kara’s face didn’t even shift from the emotionless mask that seemed to have been carved into it. “Nothing you could possibly offer.” She muttered darkly.

Cat nodded, trying, and failing not to let that hurt her feelings too deeply. She walked back out of the room, leaning against the closed door, and letting out a sigh.

She felt way out of her league. As much as she cared for the younger woman she didn’t know much about her. At least, not enough to help her. Kara needed to be with her family, not with her. She didn’t even want Cat there. She repulsed her presence, found no comfort in it.

Running a hand through her hair, she walked back to the kitchen trying not to look as dejected as she felt. Sitting in one of the bar stools, she gave in into temptation and poured herself a glass of bourbon. She sipped at it as she watched the ocean through one of the windows.

The same ocean that had granted her the greatest, and cruelest gift she could have ever received. Seeing Kara alive was so much more than she had ever hoped for, and so much more painful too. It was bittersweet in every sense of the word.

Cat was startled out her reverie by the sound of footsteps approaching her. She looked back to find Carter standing uncertainly.

“What is it, darling?” she asked, trying to sound upbeat.

“Are you okay, mom?” he asked, seeing right through her. “You seem sad.”

She felt a pang of guilt at her son’s remark. She didn’t want to worry him. She should be able to keep herself together, but lately that seemed to be a daunting task.

“I’m worried about Kara.” She said truthfully.

“Well, I’m worried about you.” He said, and Cat looked at him in surprise.

“I’m fine, Carter.” She said, mustering up as much strength as she could.

“No, you’re not.” Cat opened her mouth to protest but he held up a hand to stop her. “Please, let me speak, mom.”

He took a deep breath.

“I know you feel bad about Kara, but I know that’s not everything. You’re sad because you lost your job, and you’re worried because of all the things that have been happening in National City.” He took three steps closer to her and put a hand on her arm. “I get it. I’m not a little boy anymore, mom. I want to be here for you. I want you to know that you can talk to me. That you can count on me to listen; that you don’t have to turn to alcohol in order to feel better.”

He looked at her drink pointedly, and Cat suddenly felt like a useless alcoholic. She thought she had been doing a good job in keeping her drinking from her son. Apparently her attempts had been futile.

“You’re the best woman I have ever met, and the best mother I could ever wish for. So what if the board members of CatCo kicked you out? You built that company, mom. It’s yours. Don’t let them make you think otherwise.”

Cat fought very hard to keep her eyes dry, but felt herself fail miserably. She pulled her son into a tight hug, clinging to him as if her life depended on it. Her heart was trying to burst out her chest as she held her very sensitive, very intuitive boy. Carter loosely wrapped his arms around her, making an effort to comfort her mother, and for that Cat was incredibly grateful.

Cat pulled apart when she felt Carter start to shift uncomfortably. She wiped the tears from her eyes, and gave her son a watery smile. “Thank you, Carter. Your words mean a lot to me.”

“Anytime.” He shrugged nonchalantly, and it made Cat want to burst out laughing at how he so easily went back to being so carefree. “Do you want to play Settlers of Catan?”

“I would love to.”

They settled back in the living room, Cat’s heart feeling a lot lighter than it had in a while. Carter had a way of doing that, and – Cat thought with a pang – Kara had been able to as well.

She would definitely miss him when he left for school with his father the following week.

“How do you feel about going back to school?” she asked, because she was nervous. More than nervous, really. This would be the first time ever she wouldn’t drive him to school on the first day.

“Fine.” He said, lost in concentration. “I mean, it’s not like I’m changing schools or something. It’ll be the same people, same place.” He shrugged noncommittally.

Cat looked at him pensively, and tried to keep her voice neutral. “And, how do you feel about living with your father?”

He looked up at her at the tone in her voice, sensing some inflection in her voice that Cat had inadvertently let through. He kept his face impassive - a trait he had no doubt inherited from her - but Cat could see the slight pursing of his lips, the flare of his nostrils.

“It’s fine.” He looked back down at the game board, avoiding her gaze.

“Carter, if you feel uncomfortable with it you can let me know.” she kept her gaze steady on him. The next words needed to be uttered in the most sincere, most confident tone. “I can come back to National City with you, if that’s what you want.”

He looked up at her, and Cat could see it; deep within the surface of his blue orbs he wanted her to come back to the city with him. Which is why his next words surprised her deeply.

“I want you to stay.” His gaze was set firmly on hers, all trace of vulnerability gone, and Cat had never felt more proud or concerned for him.

“Carter, I-“

“You’re not ready, mom. I get it. You don’t have to worry about me.”

“I do worry, Carter. I love you. I don’t want to be the cause of your discomfort.”

He kept staring at her steadily.

“Which is exactly why you should stay. “ There seemed to be a strength in his demeanor that Cat didn’t know her son possessed. “You should have seen yourself when we were back at the city, mom.”

Cat furrowed her brow. “What do you mean?”

“When Kara went missing, and everything started to go down the drain you were…in a bad place. I could tell. You weren’t yourself. And then you got shot, and I thought I would lose you and I-“ his voice broke. Cat could see his eyes filling with tears.

“Oh, darling.” She exclaimed, moving to hug him but he stopped her.

“Please let me finish, mom. While I still have the strength.”

Cat nodded gravely, feeling her heart constrict in her chest.

“I didn’t lose you. At least not physically. But after you got kicked out of CatCo you were… well, the best word I have for it is _destroyed_. I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but I have never seen you like that, mom. It scared the hell out me. And then we came out here, and… I know you haven’t fully healed but you’re _better_. And I don’t want you to go back to the city. Not if you’ll go back to how you were.”

Cat’s eyes filled with tears again. She opened her mouth to answer but Carter beat her to it, hastily getting up.

“I, um… I’ll take a shower.” He said, and he fled the room.

Cat was left with the lump in her throat. Carter was very sensitive, and he hated having heartfelt conversations for an extended period of time.

Sighing, she began putting away the board game letting her thoughts run free, and letting some of her previous melancholy seep in. If you had asked her twenty years earlier what her life would be like now, this was certainly not what she had pictured.

At least she still had Carter, even if she had lost CatCo to greedy boardmembers. Not to mention that the vast majority of the shares were hers. She just needed to keep reminding herself of that. She could get through this little bump in the road of her life – well, it felt more like a giant boulder in her way but she had always been the fairly optimistic type, if only a little cynical-, she just had to keep being positive. And maybe cut back a bit on the alcohol. It would be nice not to wake up with a pounding headache for once. She nodded to herself. If she kept up her resolve she might even get Carter back in just a few-

A crashing sound startled her out her thoughts. She looked around wide-eyed trying to locate the source of the sound. She realized with a sinking feeling it came from her bedroom.

 _Kara_!

She got up, and hastily walked into her room. She didn’t even bother to knock the door this time, opting to burst into the room instead. She found Kara crouched picking up the pieces of the broken plate Cat had brought with food earlier. The food was scattered around, making it clear that Kara hadn’t even touched it.

The younger woman looked up at her abrupt entry. Cat took notice of her flushed cheeks, and the way her blue eyes seemed way too bright.

“I’m sorry. I was reaching for the glass of orange juice, and sort of…” she trailed off as her eyes glazed over.

Cat stared at her moment, and suddenly Kara snapped out of it.

“I was just _so_ thirsty. I didn’t mean for it to happen.” She kept picking up pieces of broken porcelain arranging them in a small pile on the floor.

Cat felt concerned all of a sudden. She seemed different somehow. Not to mention that just an hour ago she had refused to speak to her in more than a few words at a time.

“Kara?”

The younger woman didn’t seem to hear her as she started mumbling to herself. “I’m so thirsty. So, _so,_ thirsty. I could drink an entire ocean.”

She walked towards her, crouched down and placed a gentle hand on Kara's wrist, stilling her hand, afraid she would accidentally cut herself. She gasped in surprise as she felt the burning skin beneath her fingers.

Kara looked at her, and Cat suddenly realized what was wrong: Her fever was back.

“C’mon, darling. Leave it.” She pulled Kara’s arm softly, and Kara let herself be pulled up. “Let’s just get you to bed, all right?”

After guiding the younger woman back into bed, she handed Kara the glass of orange juice, desperately trying to come up with the reason of the sudden spike in temperature. As Kara gulped it down in one swift motion, Cat came to a startling realization: She hadn’t changed Kara’s bandages in a while. She berated herself for it. How could she have been so careless?

Kara laid in the bed, deliriously humming to herself as Cat ran to the bathroom and back, carrying a damp towel with her.

“How do you feel?” she asked, putting a hand on Kara’s forehead. It was a dumb question, but she couldn’t help herself.

“Cold.” As if on cue she shivered, and Cat felt her worry increase. She had to get the fever down or she was going to have no other choice but to call an actual doctor which would expose Kara’s identity.

She suddenly wished very much that she had someone to call – that she knew how to contact Kara’s relatives. Her emergency contact on her file had always been her sister. Anyone she ever talked about was Alex Danvers.

She gently placed the towel on her forehead. “Don’t let it fall, Kara. I’ll be right back.” She commanded.

Leaving the room, she headed into the kitchen, opening the medicine cabinet she had there. Grabbing a bottle of Tylenol from the cabinet, and a water bottle from the fridge, she made her way back, and handed Kara two pills, along with the water.

Kara stared at her dumbfounded. Her gaze kept shifting from the pills in her hand, to Cat’s face.

“What am I supposed to do with these?” she asked, and Cat could have laughed in that moment because, of course, Supergirl had never taken a pill in her life.

“Swallow them. Use the water.” She said, and she silently prayed for the pills to be effective. Kara had definitely blown out her powers but that didn’t really mean medication would have any effect on her, as far as Cat knew.

Kara nodded, and took the pills without protesting to Cat’s immense relief. Now all they could do was wait… Well, there was something else.

“Kara, darling, I need to change your bandages.” She waited for any sign of protest from the younger woman but Kara only nodded tiredly.

Breathing a tiny sigh of relief Cat begun with the task. She went into the bathroom to retrieve what she needed, and carefully began unwrapping every bandage as delicately as she could.

“This might hurt a little. I need you to stay still.”

She proceeded to gently disinfect each wound, watching Kara’s reaction carefully. At first she kept wincing – the sting of her wounds being touched was probably an entirely new sensation for her -, but then, as Cat began to wrap fresh bandages around them, her expression shifted.

Cat couldn’t quite decipher what the look meant. It was a mixture between pain, and relief. Like it wasn’t exactly either one of them but had hints of both.

She tried to ignore the sudden change in Kara’s demeanor, and continued with the task. When she finished she ran a hand over the bandage on the taller woman's arm almost subconsciously. She was startled when she heard the sudden gasp, and the subsequent shuddering breath that the girl emitted.

“Does it hurt? I’m sorry.” She said, violently yanking her hand back. Their eyes met for a moment before Kara looked away, gulping and sheepishly staring at the ceiling.

“It’s not that. It’s just…” she trailed off, looking unsure and vulnerable.

“What is it?” Cat pressed, because Kara was actually talking to her, acknowledging her. She still didn’t know if it was the fever -or if she actually wanted to talk to her -but she'd be damned if she let this opportunity pass her by.

Kara closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. “It’s just that I… I haven’t been _touched_ in a long time.” Cat’s heart clenched in her chest. “I-it’s stupid, I know.”

“It’s not stupid.” Cat said firmly, and Kara opened her eyes at the earnestness of her tone, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

It wasn’t stupid, not to Cat. In fact, she understood perfectly. She’d always known Kara was a physical person. She drew comfort by being in close proximity with someone but it usually wasn’t enough. All it ever took for Cat to comfort her was the simple gesture of straightening her collar, or a hand on her arm, or the gentle brush of her fingers when she was handed a document. Kara always seemed calmer, more at peace after any of these gestures. And whenever Kara had tried to comfort _her_ , it had always been through a hug or a gentle squeeze of her arm.

She’d also seen how she was around her friends – James, and the little hobbit. She was always touching them, standing very near them, and hugging them. It was practically second nature to her.

So it was perfectly understandable to Cat that Kara would feel lost or lonely after spending so much time away from people she cared about - away from people in general. To her, there was nothing embarrassing about the girl craving physical contact because it was a part of Kara’s innate being.

Which was exactly the reason why she scooted closer to her, and cupped her face delicately with her right hand. “It’s not stupid at all.” She reassured her, gently wiping away the tears that started rolling down Kara’s cheek with her thumb.

She placed her other hand on Kara’s shoulder, gently sliding it down until she was gently grasping her wrist. Kara’s eyes had closed at the gesture, a soft sigh escaping her lips.

Cat's right hand kept touching her face, tracing every contour with her knuckles as Kara silently wept. She didn’t know how long she kept doing it. She lost track of everything the moment the first tear had fallen.

All she was aware of was that the tears had suddenly stopped falling, and Kara was breathing evenly under her. Her back was starting to hurt from being hunched over for so long so she gently removed her hand from Kara’s burning face. Before she could completely remove it there was a hand on her wrist, stopping her, and blue eyes had opened to stare at her with an openly vulnerable look.

“Please don’t leave me.”

Cat’s eyes began to sting at the desperate tone of her voice. It was so unlike Kara; so broken and devoid of her previous happiness.

“I’m not.” She said gently, trying to extricate herself from Kara’s firm – yet human – grasp. “I was just trying to find a more comfortable position. My back is starting to hurt.”

Kara’s relief was as plain as day as she let go of Cat. There was a question swimming in her blue eyes, and Cat knew exactly what it was. She waited for her to formulate it but Kara only kept staring at her. Cat realized she probably still felt too vulnerable or too embarrassed to ask for what she needed.

So she decided to save Kara the effort, and climbed into bed with her. Mindful of Kara’s injuries, Cat wrapped an arm around her waist while gently laying her head on her shoulder. She felt the younger woman instantly relax in her arms, and knew she had made the right decision.

“Go to sleep, Kara.” She commanded, and it didn’t take long for Kara to obey.

Cat wasn’t a physical person: In fact, she hated physical contact most of the time. But right in this moment, there wasn’t a thing she wouldn’t do for the girl sleeping beside her, and that thought terrified her. She didn’t know what it all meant. She wasn’t even sure she could help Kara when she herself was a mess. She was just beginning to heal her own wounds, to come to terms with everything that had happened in National City.

But she couldn’t think about that. Not now, not when Kara needed her. Not when she was able to help her. Cat stared at the girl sleeping in her arms, and vowed to protect her from any more harm. She wouldn’t let Kara out of her sight ever again, not while she still breathed.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Send me prompts, I'm cat-danvers on tumblr :)


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